Category: Poetry

i have an addiction aside from the typical one that gets you high
mine makes me bleed
it leaves inks and holes that i will never unsee
it is the light to my fire that sends my pains ablaze
it is the silent killer that turns my bad thoughts into good days
i long to be under a needle as it drags across my flesh
because it gives me a high where i can’t digress
i learned early that i wasn’t a cutter because my skin is too thick
it takes too long to cut and make me bleed
it leaves scratches on my thighs that don’t fill me
my habit makes me itch and swell and twitch
but i can only imagine what i’d do without it

and when i can’t get to it quick i can always go back
and fiddle with an old hole til my soft pains come back
i crave sex the same way
aggressive yet sweet
because my soft pains are my happy places oxymoronically

It feels like it’s been so long

I’ve been looking for words and none have been coming

But how shallow of me to leave you this long

How i’ve missed you

How bitterly i’ve craved your being

How treacherously my fingers have longed for you

My lips wanting to let your sweetness grace them

And my tongue aching for your taste

At this point i’m sure that you’re my only true love

The only thing that keeps me sane

And still you drive me so crazy

You frustrate me so badly

Sometimes my lack of understanding sends me blazing

Yet you bring me such comfort and such peace

You constantly fill every piece of me

Even though holding onto you alone

Makes me as foolish as a child chasing imaginary dreams

As deranged as a druggie telling their lucid dreams

But i love you with a love all mine

A love like no other, enduring and all fine

Like a love that will stand the test of all time

I love you overwhelmingly and profusely and constantly

For you are able to see me at my lows and highs

For you are able to get me to and through difficult times

The love i have for my words and pen and paper all as one

Is a love like no other, like they are my other one 

Little black boy,

Eyes wide, skin still a light hue — 

You are not yet aware 

Of what the world has waiting for you. 

Little black boy,

Running around with toddler feet,

You still don’t understand 

That the world is no treat.

Little black boy,

Just starting the first grade,

You’re seeing now

The discrimination against your race.

Little black boy,

Well into the seventh year of school,

You are just starting to realize

That this country you live in is not so cool. 

Little black boy,

Now in your latter years,

You just watched what happens to your kind;

And now you sit with empty tears.

Little black boy,

You were just in the wrong place.

You happened to be standing there, 

They saw you skin,

They didn’t see your face.

Little black boy,

We bury you now,

Another name on the wall,

Another angel in the clouds.

Little black boy

This could’ve been your life,

But your mother was afraid

To put you through this strife.

Little black boy, 

You never made it to see a year — 

Your mother aborted you

Simply out of fear of having to raise,

a little black boy.

i want to be held.

for a couple days i want to feel myself enveloped in your arms.

i want to run my fingers through your curls as you breathe your breath against my skin.

i want to be rubbed by your hands,

so soft, so gracious.

i want to be held,

i want to feel your shape as it spoons mine.

i want to wrap our legs together as our souls intertwine.

i want to cure this feeling,

i want to rid myself of this pain,

i want to release this tension,

i want to escape this world,

and find our little corner of universe,

and live there with you forever.

holding me,

holding you,

holding each other,

infinitely.