It has been such a hectic life for my fellow black people. Everyday it’s something else, there’s always more of the foolery for us. We fight these stereotypes and stigmas so hard. Literally from the day we are born we are a threat. We can’t ever just be a beautiful black baby in peace; can never be a beautiful black family, a beautiful black individual. Why does it have to be so hard? Why does our road always have to be so traumatic, filled with so much ugly?
I grew up in what started out as an upper middle class suburb. I went to private school in my primary years, and even though I was surrounded by white people, the only friends I really had were the black kids. I remember so distinctly how we used to get bullied by the other kids. I remember little kids telling me how ugly my skin was, how my hair must have been fake or permed when my mom finally straightened it. I remember watching loving white children slowly be taught racism as they changed their views on how I was once so beautiful and then suddenly an ugly monkey.
I get so frustrated these days. How is it that everything that these people love and fetish the most is black art and black culture and then they hate the black people that make it? Why are my cornrows and my bamboo earrings and my lips full of lip gloss and my long nails ghetto?? But let Karen and Suzie do it and it’s fashion; it’s innovative, it’s creative. I get so tired of watching my people be a muse for everything beautiful and lifelike and also be a punching bag and a shadow for target practice.
I’m tired of being black and harassed. I’m tired of being black and “a threat.” I’m tired of being black and less than human. I’m not tired of being black though, I want to be black; black and every beautiful thing that blackness encompasses. I’m tired of having a weary heart and a defensive mannerism about myself from fear. I’m tired of watching my people literally having their necks stepped on to keep us down! I can’t say RIP enough for every one of my people that has been faulted by the Injustice System of these United States.
I wrote this to use my platform to speak up, to say that I won’t take it anymore; to say that we won’t take it anymore! We deserve better than what this country is offering. We are the kings and queens and inventors and scientists and dreamers and believers of this world and we always will be. We asked for 2020 vision this year, and this is the year that we not only see clearly, but we react. It is time to react. It is time to protest, to speak up and to speak out. It is time to do more than complain; it’s time to make demands and watch them be given unto us.
So RIP to George Floyd and Breonna Taylor and Trayvon Martin and Philano Castile and Alton Sterling and Lonnie Flemming and Sandra Bland and every other person that has lost their lives for being black people. I am a sister and a daughter and an auntie and a friend and a lover and a mourner of my black people; and I am sick for them, I am scared for them, I am praying for them, I am praying for us; because this is the start of a war for my black people and I will stand with them, I will stand for them, and I will speak on behalf of the people that I love.
I am not sad today, I am not upset, I am not an angry black woman today. Today I am disgusted, I am infuriated, I am PISSED THE HELL OFF; and I am a black woman too. Today, tomorrow and forever our lives matter, Black Lives Matter!